CL - both Madrid teams through, Barça out

Madrid is a far happier place than Barcelona this week after the Champions League quarterfinals; Real and Atlético both through to the semis after wildly differing performances.

Real Madrid managed to luck their way through to the next phase of the competition after stuttering badly against Borussia Dortmund. The Yellow Wall was in fine voice inside the Westfalenstadion in spite of the torrential downpours which engulfed the area in the lead-up to kick-off then stopped pretty much as soon as the referee signalled the start of the match. It was as if God himself was the groundsman and was ready for the ref's whistle.

The Dortmund fans whistled every touch from a Real player, and roared their team on furiously whenever they broke towards goal. They'd already gotten the distinct impression that the referee was against them after he disregarded a clear foul by professional annoyance Pepe right on the edge of his own area, and they were even more sure of the fact when he awarded the Spanish side a dubious penalty for handball against Łukasz

Bowling shoes not so good for football

Piszczek. With no CR7 on the pitch to extend his European goals record, Ángel Di María stepped up in his bowling shoes, slipped embarrassingly, and sent the ball at a nice height to Roman Weidenfeller's left. The one-cap German stuck out an elbow and deflected the shot wide for a corner.

Real seemed almost suicidally blasé about the whole thing, attempting to keep the ball with short passes in tight areas with players unsuited to the game. The breakthrough eventually came after 24 minutes, a long ball from the back bewilderingly prompting Pepe to attempt a headed back-pass from fully 40 yards. Marco Reus read his intentions, nipped in and rounded Casillas before passing the ball into the net.

Los Blancos seemed not to learn their lesson, at one point attempting a series of one-twos between three players in their own half while surrounded by no fewer than six Dortmund players. Needless to say, this was not going to end well. On 37 minutes Asier Illarramendi, who all game had looked like a child who'd won a raffle to play on the pitch in place of a real player, sold Pepe awfully short with a misjudged pass. The superb Reus, whose parents should've really named Rolls when he was born on the evidence of this game, once more read the future quicker than anyone else and stole in to feed the ball to Robert Lewandowski. Although the Pole's shot was touched onto the post by San Iker, the ball rebounded straight to Reus, who made no mistake in hammering it home for 2-0.

Half time could not come quickly enough for the beleaguered Madrid, and when they emerged 15 minutes later Illarra had been replaced by Isco. More importantly, Bale had been moved across to right wing. The Welsh flyer had simply not been in the game during the opening 45, and within a couple of minutes proved why starting him on the left had been a mistake, worrying defenders and sending a couple of strikes at the chronically underworked Weidenfeller. Real Madrid looked as if Ancelotti had instructed them to play longer for the second half; a wise move Mr. Magoo could've told them was needed. Honestly, what's the point of having Bale and Di María out wide if you refuse to get the ball to them?? Although in the case of the Argentine, he would've probably fallen over if he had received it..

CR7 was cutting an increasingly agitated figure on the bench, at one point even having to be instructed to sit

CR7 vents on the bench

down by the fourth official. Back on the pitch, things continued in the same vein as the first half. Alonso was extremely lucky not to be given his marching orders after fouling a player on halfway. The referee strode towards him, for all the world looking like he was about to dispense a second yellow, but seemed to think again once he realised that he'd already booked to the former Liverpool man. In the end, he gave nothing, curiously. For the German side, Marco Reus was far and away the best player on the pitch. Scrabble legend Henrikh Mkhitaryan was running things all over the shop apart from whenever he got anywhere near Casillas' goal. In all, the Armenian squandered three gilt-edged chances to put the tie level, once even getting round the Madrid keeper yet contriving to strike the base of the post.

By the hour-mark Dortmund seemed to tire from their high-pressing game, leaving Real more time on the ball and more space to counter-attack into. However, the game could possibly still be going on now and Real wouldn't have scored, so poor was their decision-making in the Dortmund half. Essentially, this tie was won by Real Madrid in the first leg, and very lucky it was too as they looked bereft of ideas in Germany. Dortmund can consider themselves very unlucky to be bowing out at this stage.

It emerged after the game that Ronaldo wouldn't have come on even if Dortmund had scored the third they so richly deserved. The Portuguese may even be a doubt for the Copa del Rey final against Barcelona next Wednesday after the injury he picked up in training on Monday turned out to be worse than expected. Madrid have refused to say how long he'll be out for, but he could miss some important games. Roberto Carlos has chipped in to suggest the winger take it easy if he wants to be back sooner rather than later. Well, he is a Real legend for his hammer of a left foot, not his intellect.. Someone who could be leaving the bench is footballing legend Zinedine Zidane. Rumours have emerged that Monaco have the World Cup winner lined up as their next manager. Meanwhile, Dortmund have now completed the permanent re-signing of Nuri Sahin for EUR7m.

Contrary to the result in Dortmund, the better team definitely went through in the all-Spanish quarter final; Atlético Madrid absolutely pummelling Barcelona into the ground at the Vicente Calderón. The deserved Liga leaders were all snarling, controlled rage, hunting the ball all over the pitch and not giving the opposition the time on the ball their tiki taka requires.

Atleti started like a whirlwind, and took the lead for the second time in the tie after only 5 minutes. In fact, they could have been ahead even before that, but the massed ranks on the terraces weren't complaining.

Barça zero, Koke one

After Adrián, with all of two goals to his name this season, smashed a shot onto the woodwork, Villa put the ball back in to the same player, who intelligently headed it across for Koke to slam home at the far post. Cue pandemonium around the ground.

And Atleti didn't hang back after this magical start, either. Instead, they pinned Barcelona back with their fierce tackling and non-stop harrying. Built in the very image of their manager Diego Simeone, they defended from the front, the entire team as a single fierce unit. It took until nearly the 15th minute for the visiting team to have a sniff of goal, an out-of-sorts Messi putting his free header wide, but this did not signal Barcelona taking control. Instead, los Colcherones streamed down the other end of the pitch, and on 18 minutes Villa smacked the ball off the face of the crossbar with an audacious shot. How Barcelona were ruing the decision to let him go for just over EUR5m.

Iniesta typified the whole game for the Catalans on 28 minutes when letting a pass glide under his foot and tenderly out for a throw-in while Cesc, who cut a frustrated figure throughout, attempted two desperate dives in quick succession as the clock ticked down to half time.

Barcelona emerged for the second half knowing they'd have to score, and set about doing just that immediately. A scramble in the Atlético box was finally resolved when the brilliant but off-balance Thibaut Courtois managed to shin the ball over his own bar. The goalmouth action had begun with the Belgium 'keeper getting a strong palm on the ball as the otherwise-unimpressive Neymar attempted to round him. After an hour, Tata Martino finally saw sense and brought Alexis Sánchez on for Cesc, thereby injecting some pace into his team, and brought on Pedro for Iniesta ten minutes later.

In the end Cholo couldn't bring on Diego Costa, the striker not managing to recover in time, but he did bring on first-leg hero Diego to replace the hard-running Adrián. Then in the 78th minute the manic manager ended Villa's constant hounding of the Barça back line, replacing him with Cristian Rodríguez - nicknamed Cebolla, or the Onion - and the Uruguayan could've really made the visitors cry as he forced clown-keeper extraordinaire Pinto into a save in the 89th minute.

It didn't matter though, one goal had proved enough. The four previous meetings this season between the two teams had all ended in draws. What a time to notch a first win.

It has to be noted that the gulf between the two teams on the night was so great that even the Barcelona fans in the Calderón applauded the Atlético players at the end. Photos of the Catalan players returning back to the city, however, show them all with their heads bowed. The fans would expect nothing less. The fall-out has already begun in earnest, with Iniesta the first player to break ranks. The diminutive playmaker revealed to Canal+ that he had been 'surprised' to be subbed off in the second half. Elsewhere, official UEFA figures proved that Messi had played a poor game. The stats show the Argentine ran only 6.8km over the 90 minutes, with Koke on the other team running nearly double, at 12.2km. Even more surprising is that Messi only ended up running slightly more than comical Barcelona 'keeper Pinto, who traversed 5.3km over the course of the game.

Week 32 review & look ahead to Champions League quarter finals

And so Game Week 32 mirrored Game Week 31, at least at the top of the table. The leading trio all recorded wins in the same fashion as the week before: Atlético won by the odd-goal against a tough opponent, Barcelona struggled more than expected before triumphing, with another Messi penalty, and Real Madrid blew away yet another potential banana skin.

A table of the ten players in La Liga to have played the most minutes this season includes seven from Atleti, which just goes to show how well manager Diego Simeone has done with a thinly-stretched squad. Perhaps this statistic is beginning to take its toll on the team, along with a prolonged Champions League run, as Cholo had to do without Diego Costa, Arda Turan, Miranda and Gabi (who was suspended) for his team's third successive 1-0 win, this time against Villarreal. Captain for the day Raúl García nodded home the winner after 14 minutes, and very pleased he looked about it, too. And why the hell not.
Barça beat rock-bottom Real Betis 3-1 in a game that was far more nervy for the Catalans than many would have expected. Messi took two penalties and ended the game with two goals. However, both were not directly from the spot - his second was a tame effort which was saved by former Real 'keeper Antonio Adán. Unfortunately for the man between the sticks, he could only parry the shot straight back into Messi's path, leaving the diminutive Argentine equal second in the Pichichi list with Diego Costa, on 25 goals.
Ronaldo, who leads the standings with a calculator-defying 28 goals, missed the chance to further extend his lead after he was left out of the Real squad altogether for the team's 4-0 win over Real Sociedad due to injury. Di María was also crocked, and los Blancos seemed to be making hard work of the game until former Sociedad midfielder and man of many letters Asier Illarramendi unexpectedly popped up to notch the opener right on half time. Claudio Bravo in the Sociedad goal then punted the ball straight to Bale, who made no mistake from 35 yards just after the hour mark, before Pepe and Álvaro Morata rounded off the scoring in the last five minutes to make the game look far more comfortable than it really was.

Elsewhere, the weird Friday night spot was booked for a six-pointer at the foot of the table, Osasuna coming out on top away at Juegos Mediterráneos against Almería. Los Rojillos clambered out of the relegation zone to the relative safety and warmth of 16th, while Almería remain deep in the proverbial. The only game on Saturday not to feature one of the top three was at Vallecas, where Rayo Vallecano trounced Celta Vigo 3-0, Alberto Bueno bagging a nicely-taken brace. Sunday saw two goal-fests and two not-so-goal-fests; Málaga and Sevilla both winning 4-1 at home in Andalucía against Granada and Espanyol respectively, while Elche beat Getafe 1-0 and the battle of the Vs ended 0-0, Valencia and Valladolid sharing the spoils. Well, those Vs have to look after each other, don't they? The graveyard Monday night spot belongs to Levante and Athletic Bilbao this week. Well, technically I suppose the spot belongs to the sponsors who make sure that games kick off at seemingly the most random times and days, but who are we to quibble, the mere fans and paying punters?

Messi doing footballing last week

Following Saturday's three-point hauls for the leading pack, their attentions turned quickly to the Champions League. Three will become two (at most) this week, as Real look to see out the job against Borussia Dortmund, and the top two in La Liga face off at the Vicente Calderón. The first leg of the all-Spanish quarter final ended 1-1 between Barça and Atleti, and the tie is on a knife edge ahead of Wednesday's return. Atleti would appear to be in the driving seat, playing at home as they are, but they will still be without key players. Diego Costa has returned to training, but it's hard to believe he'll be more than 80% fit. Even so, the man's a bull and would likely cause Barcelona's shaky back-line problems no matter his state of fitness. The magnificently-bearded Arda Turan will be as big a miss should he also not make the game as expected. Howard Webb will be the man shouldering 75% of the blame for whichever team bows out.

Lewa counts his goals last year

Real Madrid look forward to completing their task against football-hipster favourites Dortmund after winning the first leg 3-0. However, they are haunted by the memories of last season's exit to the same team, and one man in particular - Robert Lewandowski. The Pole, now painted as an 'ogre' by Marca, bagged four goals in the first meeting between the sides last season, and is available once more after suspension for Tuesday's game. His shadow looms large over the Madrid side, but los Blancos should be able to see out the result from their advantage in the first leg. CR7 had been predicted to start on the bench, but broke down 20 minutes into training on Monday evening, and is now predicted to miss out entirely.

In news from the other two ties, it has been reported that the PSG players will each receive a bonus of EUR450,000 if they put Chelsea out of the competition, although this will prove slightly harder, despite their 3-1 lead, after it emerged that the Zlatan has picked up an injury and is set for a month on the sidelines. He will no doubt use this time to invent a cure for the common cold and celebrate by repeatedly karate kicking the Pope in the back of the head during Sunday Mass. Probably. Meanwhile, Bayern Munich has apparently sought an apology from both the Mirror and the Sun after the tabloids labelled Bastian Schweinsteiger a pig in the wake of the 1-1 draw between Manchester United and the Bayern machine. The midfielder was sent off following a dive from Rooney, and the two British papers ran headlines calling him a 'dirty Schwein,' in an attempt at language-defying wordplay. All fun and games surely, and no doubt the player will be able to get over the whole name-calling affair if his teammates do the business at home this week.