Champs League - Cibeles & Neptune celebrate

     On Monday, Madrid's city council announced that both the Cibeles and Neptune fountains would be cordoned off ahead of this week's Champions League semifinals in case either or both of Real and Atlético Madrid won through to the final. Some may have thought this slightly presumptuous, others foolhardy, but in the end the gamble paid off. On Tuesday night hundreds of Real Madrid fans congregated, as has become customary in times of celebration, by the Fuente de Cibeles, while on Wednesday they were joined by Atleti fans a short walk away at the Fuente de Neptuno.

     The next real problem for the council will be when the two teams face each other in the final on May 24. Although the match itself is being held some 503km away in Lisbon, the place to be - the only place to be, will be Madrid. An advert for Mahou beer which began airing on Wednesday suggested rather naively that if both teams end up in the final, their fans should all merge happily at the Fuente de Apolo which conveniently sits smack-bang between the two clubs' adopted celebration spots. Not much chance of that happening I'd say. I also imagine the policía won't thank the beer firm for its suggestion.

     Real reached their first Champions League final in 12 years and took one step closer to la Décima - the 10th European Cup which has turned into an obsession within the club - by humiliating Bayern Munich on what proved to be a record-breaking evening. Madrid's 1-0 win in the first leg left the tie finely poised, the players aware that if they kept a clean sheet they would progress. But this team was not made to sit back and defend; Real's 'signature move' is the lightning-fast counter-attack, and the team stayed true to its methods. If they scored one, Bayern would have to score two; if they scored two, Bayern would have to score three; and if they scored three, the Germans would have to beat San Iker an unthinkable four times. In the end, even this feat would not have proved enough to save the Bavarians after a powerful Cristiano Ronaldo free kick at the death made the score 4-0 to los Blancos. At the Allianz Arena. It was Bayern's heaviest ever home defeat in European competition. It was also the worst defeat of Guardiola's career.

Guardiola: "I read in Madrid that
they're already in the CL final"
YOU READ RIGHT

     The week had started with the Munich coach in bullish mood in the press, confident of his team's chances of getting through to the final. He's been in football long enough to know that a 1-0 first leg victory is easily overturned, and will have recalled Bayern crushing Barcelona 7-0 on aggregate at this stage of the competition last year. However by the end of the game on Tuesday the Catalan was being lambasted by fans, who booed his decision to replace the hard-working but ineffective Thomas Müller with rotund Chelsea reject Claudio Pizarro in the 72nd minute. By that point though, the game had long been over as a contest.
     In truth, the referee could have ended the game at half time and the German fans would have been grateful. Real were already three goals to the good and could well have been even further in front. Bayern's tactics seemed to play into Madrid's hands and the Spanish team were 2-0 up before 20 minutes had shown up on the board, both goals coming from the same source - the flat forehead of Sergio Ramos. It seemed the Munich defence had decided that marking the opposition's most potent aerial threat was beneath them and twice the Andalusian stole in unmarked to smash the ball home with that slab above his suspiciously small eyes - the first after 15 minutes from a perfect Modrić corner, the second from an Ángel di María free kick Madrid were fortunate to win just four minutes later. I was left to curse my luck for not finding time to get to BetFred before the game as I fancied Ramos at 25-1 for the first goal. For those that don't know, his odds would have then doubled, leaving me with £50 profit for even a poxy £1 bet. Fiddlesticks.

Karaoke. Madrid-style

     Far more lucky than I was Ramos himself who, quite apart from scoring his side's first two goals, was walking a tightrope with a booking to his name before the match - were he to get carded during the game, the centre-back would miss the final through suspension. If you thought that he'd therefore take things easy and stand off a bit, you'd be dead wrong. And if you thought he'd be hauled off at half-time with his team winning 3-0 and almost certainly through, you'd be wrong again. Sucks to be you, if that's the case. The Seville native was in the frame every single time there were any verbals or handbags between the two sets of players in the first half, leaving Ancelotti's eyebrow squirming in discomfort until it had seen enough and finally hooked the Madrid number 4 in the 74th minute.
     Unfortunately for Real, Xabi Alonso was neither as lucky nor as clever in the challenge as his teammate, and he will now miss the final after receiving a booking for a silly, needless tackle on 37 minutes. The player was absolutely devastated, left lying on the turf and wishing he could turn back time. If it didn't work for Cher, it sure as hell ain't gonna work for you, matey, excellent red beard or not. The midfielder's dismay will not have been helped by CR7, who was still berating him for his idiocy as they lined up in the wall to block the resulting free kick.

CR7 eventually realised he didn't have
enough hands to count to 15

     What made the yellow card even worse was that Real Madrid already had the tie in the bag by that point, Ronaldo breaking the record for the highest amount of goals in a Champions League season with his 15th in the competition just after the half-hour mark. As in the first leg, Madrid countered from within their own box and ended up scoring within a matter of seconds. However, whereas their goal at the Bernabéu took ten touches from end to end, their third on the night at the Allianz Arena took just nine, presumably because they didn't use Pepe's arse at any point this time. Lessons learned and all that. On the halfway line a beautiful ball once more from the hard-working Karim Benzema fed Gareth Bale who scorched towards goal before dumbfounding both Dante and Manuel Neuer with a cute reverse pass to Ronaldo with his wrong foot. The Portuguese made no mistake from just within the area, although Neuer will be angry with himself for allowing the ball to slip under his body.
     Bayern Munich had started to lose their discipline after the second goal and their bad mood just got worse the longer the contest went on, typified by Franck Ribéry slapping Dani Carvajal while the referee wasn't looking. Before the game Guardiola claimed that the Frenchman - like a smaller, pinker version of the Incredible Hulk - is at his best when he's angry. Despite a couple of short runs, the tricky winger resembled a pedestrian Bruce Banner rather than his green alter ego on the night. Conversely, Mario Mandžukić was a thorn in Real's side, albeit not with his footballing ability. The giant Croatian was seemingly tasked with sticking to Pepe and intercepting the Madrid number 3 any time he looked like provoking a riot.

Even Alonso's in there somewhere

     Guardiola appeared to have a bit of a rethink at half time and, deciding that stopping Pepe from inciting violence on the terraces wasn't his overriding priority, took off his striker in order to bring on Javi Martínez. Although a seemingly puzzling move, the substitution actually served to steady the boat for the Bavarian side and made them look far more of a team than the rabble they had started the match as. The Bayern coach conceded after the game that he'd been at fault and would take the blame for his players' poor performance. He need not have rushed to reproach himself though - the German papers were way ahead of him. Be that as it may, Real Madrid looked to be settling for the 3-0 scoreline until the last minute of normal time, when CR7 stepped up and smashed a free kick beneath the wall to record his 16th Champions League goal in just 10 games. It was also his 51st in 50 European games for los Merengues. Real Madrid are also now the team to have scored the most Champions League goals in a single season. So, like I said at the start, record breaking.

Mou's tactics board vs Liverpool

     The only thing broken at Stamford Bridge 24 hours later - apart from the public transport system - was John Terry; the Chelsea captain left sobbing like a lost child in a department store after Liga leaders Atlético Madrid handed a few stern lessons to the repeatedly and loudly self-proclaimed 'Champions of Europe'. José Mourinho has developed a reputation for 'parking the bus,' most recently taking 3 points from Anfield in a game where his tactics seemed to be simply to sit back with 10 men behind the ball and wait for Liverpool to screw up. Boring as hell, but then again he came away with a victory over the league leaders so he won't mind the criticism.
     On Wednesday though, Mou acted out of character and made an attacking substitution early on in the second half, taking off Ashley Cole - who's beard was not a touch on that sported by Arda Turan - and bringing on Samuel Eto'o. Most uncharacteristic. It appeared the Portuguese had blinked first in his staring contest with Cholo Simeone, although to be fair there's not many in the world mad enough to actually get into a staring competition with the perennially black-shirted Argentine. By that point in the game the 1-1 scoreline was weighted in Atleti's favour following the 0-0 stalemate at the Vicente Calderón last week.

     Atlético, resembling Olympiakos more than usual after having to dump their normal Blackburn-inspired blue shorts for red ones due to stupid modern-football stipulations about kit clashes, started with the fit-again Arda Turan but minus both Gabi and Raúl García and consequently struggled to impose themselves on the game in the early stages. The fear among the spectators in the ground was that they were set to watch another insipid 0-0 draw heading inexorably to penalties, and apart from dives from Diego Costa and Chelsea survivalist Ray Mears the only thing to enliven the opening 30 minutes was an audacious bicycle-kick from emotionally stunted man-boy-mop Davy Lewis.

Maybe he'd forgotten how to celebrate?

     The 3,000 travelling fans had kicked up a ruckus for the entire game, absolutely dominating the subservient home crowd, but los Colchoneros were silenced in the 36th minute. The lively and inventive Willian wriggled free from two challenges tight to the corner flag before César Azpilicueta delivered the ball in to former Atleti fan and wunder-kind Fernando Torres who finished with aplomb. And a healthy deflection off a defender. As is currently all the rage, el Niño held up his hands and refused to celebrate scoring against his boyhood club, but the Chelsea players and fans in attendance had no such quandaries and celebrated with great vim. Nonetheless, Atleti's task remained the same as it had at the outset and the team knew one goal would still be enough to see them through to the final.

Olympiakos Atleti players celebrate
in front of the travelling thousands

     That goal duly arrived right on the stroke of half time. The impressive if slightly raggedy-looking Tiago chipped a delicious ball across the box that looked for all the world like it was heading out for a goal kick but was kept in play by Juanfran. The right-back played like a train all evening, and just managed to keep the ball in play by hooking it across the face of goal - it flashed past two Chelsea defenders and arrived at a mildly surprised-looking Adrián. The man from Teverga only has one league goal to his name this season but didn't fail from a few yards out, his shot careering into the floor before bouncing into the back of the net right in front of the Atleti fans, who proceeded to go mental. After the game the man with the wide smile and the number 7 on his back described it as "the most important goal of my career". Advantage Atlético.
     The Chelsea manager's decision to replace Cole with Eto'o at the start of the second half did have an impact on the game, just not the one he would've wanted. Within 10 minutes of coming on, the former Real Madrid and Barcelona player committed a lazy forward's challenge on Diego Costa as the striker controlled a high corner, and referee Nicola Rizzoli duly pointed to the spot. Diego Costa dusted himself off and placed the ball down to take the resulting penalty himself. Then he placed it again. And again. Growing increasingly frustrated at the ball's refusal to either stay still or out of a hole the Brazilian pawed at the turf and eventually drew a yellow card from the ref, who assumed he was playing mind games. Costa eventually placed the ball at the bottom of the hole he'd dug then stepped up and rocketed it into the roof of the net. His unstoppable spot-kick made it 2-1 on the hour mark. Match point Atlético.

A sea of red in the corner of Stamford Bridge

     At this point los Rojiblancos were running the game entirely and impudently passing through and around Chelsea at their leisure. The suffering home fans were even subjected to a chorus of olés from the away end during one particularly attractive period of possession. Ten minutes after Costa's penalty, Atlético put the game to bed and secured passage to their first European Cup final since 1974. A lovely flowing move ended with a peach of a cross being curled into the far post where the late-arriving Arda Turan played a one-two with the crossbar before slotting his side's third goal. Checkmate: Game, set and match Atlético.
     Chelsea weren't terrible but were outclassed by their opponents, albeit with the help of a fortunate first goal to allow them back into the match. Willian played well for the Blues but by far their most dangerous player was the effervescent Eden Hazard, only just back from injury. Conversely, most of the men wearing red and white played out of their skins; Tiago, Arda Turan, Koke and Juanfran to the fore. With a few minutes remaining the home fans roused themselves enough for a chorus in support of their manager in spite of the defeat, but were then outsung by the Atleti fans who responded with "José Mourinho, hijo de puta" belted out with great gusto.

He cries when he wants, he cries when he waaaaants,
brave John Terry, he cries when he wants

     Upon the final whistle the away section went crazy and their players went over to celebrate with them. Luckily the cameras managed to spot John Terry wandering forlornly around the pitch and lingered with the image for a few seconds before cutting to an ad break. I'd like to think whoever was in charge of the coverage overruled the companies who had paid for advertising time and delayed going to the break. Despite the fact they'd reached the first Champions League final in their lives, a few Atleti players took the time to commiserate the Chelsea skipper. You can bet your bottom dollar, euro, peseta or lira that Terry would not have done so had the roles been reversed. The Atleti players showed what class is, there. As for myself, I have no qualms where it comes to this player and will freely admit I laughed my arse off at the images on my screen. As did probably another 89% of the country. Unconfirmed reports have surfaced since the game that Terry has asked his mum to nick him full Real and Atlético Madrid kits from Sports Direct...
     Mourinho was in uncharacteristically charitable mood after the game and congratulated Atlético Madrid on an excellent game, conceding they had deserved to go though. And for once, I actually think he was being sincere. For his part Cholo Simeone congratulated his players' mothers - as his whole squad had been born with "massive balls". The London underground had started running once more before the final whistle blew, but I got the distinct impression the Spanish fans were in no rush to leave Stamford Bridge.

     The two results mean that this year's edition will be the fifth European Cup final to be contested between two sides from the same country. Even more importantly, it will be the first ever decider in which two rivals from the same city will face off. It'll be interesting to see how they work out the fountain situation: The football will be played in Lisbon, but within the football world all eyes will be on Madrid.

Week 35 - Spanish football mourns Tito Vilanova

     Tito Vilanova was only Barcelona manager for one season and yet played his part in the most successful period in the club's history. In fact, the man from Bellcaire d'Empordà was only a manager for two full seasons in his entire career, which was cut so horribly short last Friday at the age of just 45.

     The professional life of Francesc Vilanova i Bayó was bookended by FC Barcelona. As a youth, he came through La Masia and graduated to Barcelona B where he became friends with Pep Guardiola, who he would link up with again far more memorably later down the line. At that point the pair's careers took different paths, Vilanova deciding to leave in search of first team opportunities and Guardiola staying at the club for over a decade to great success. Vilanova played for a succession of clubs, only appearing sporadically in the top flight while taking in three seasons at Celta Vigo, but the pair stayed in contact over the years nonetheless.

Pep and Tito in their playing days

After hanging up his boots with Gramenet in 2001, Vilanova later embarked into management with a year-long spell at FC Palafrugell which ended with ignominious relegation from the Tercera División. This failure notwithstanding, in 2007 his old friend Guardiola called on him to act as his assistant at Barcelona B. The pair led the team to promotion to Segunda División B in their first season as a double-act, and were then put in charge of first team affairs after Frank Rijkaard left in 2008. Over the next four years, Pep and Tito together revolutionised the style of football played at the club, since copied by a million poor imitations worldwide, which came to be known as tiki-taka. Their first season was the most successful in Barcelona's history, yielding six major trophies, and before Guardiola resigned in 2012 the team won an insane 14 out of a possible 19 dust collectors.

Mourinho's infamous eye-jab

     Although possibly best known on these shores at the time merely for being blind-sided (literally) and poked in the eye by a cowardly Mourinho during a heated Clásico Supercopa game, Vilanova was more than just an assistant manager and coach at Barça. The all-conquering tiki-taka style, as Guardiola himself has been at pains to point out time and again, was jointly developed by the pair, the current Bayern Munich manager explaining previously "I was just the voice of the ideas that Tito and I developed together." Quite apart from his day to day role at the club, Tito helped his friend by serving as a sounding-board, confidant and advisor.
     After Guardiola left to take his sabbatical, Vilanova was the obvious choice to replace him. The new man immediately stepped up to the challenge, his team collecting 55 points from a possible 57 in La Liga, winning 18 of its first 19 games and drawing one. Barcelona went on to win the league that year with 100 points despite the disruption caused by the manager having to be in and out of hospital at various points for treatment following the re-emergence of his throat cancer. Although Tito was determined to start the following season with a clean slate, his cancer reared its head once more, forcing him to step down from his position last July after concluding he could not concentrate 100% on the team while undergoing the continuous and aggressive treatment. Following Vilanova's death last Friday in a Barcelona hospital Guardiola, two years his friend's junior, said simply and touchingly "the sadness I feel will accompany me for the rest of my life".

The masses of flowers outside the stadium

This was just one of many comments from around Spanish football for a man widely recognised not just as a great tactician and organiser, but more importantly as a good man. After his funeral service FC Barcelona announced three days of mourning. Over 53,000 people queued up and visited Camp Nou to sign a book of condolence for the former manager over the weekend including the Barcelona youth team, which includes his 17-year-old son Adrià. The flower memorials and wreathes increase by the hour and flags remain at half mast around the stadium this week, and the players will wear black armbands in next weekend's game just as they did at El Madrigal on Sunday.

Minute silence at El Madrigal

     There was always the danger that the club's players could be unsettled and allow their sadness at their former manager's passing just two days earlier to overshadow them in a crunch game against Villarreal, and in truth that appears to have been the case, but they came away with all three points in the end regardless, although under fortuitous, some might say peculiar, circumstances. The Catalans were 2-0 down to goals from Cani and Manu Trigueros but stormed back to 2-2 thanks to a brace of own goals from hapless Villarreal centre-backs Gabriel and Mateo Musacchio. If the first was unfortunate and made the defender look clownish, the second appeared more suspect, Musacchio heading past Sergio Asenjo under no pressure whatsoever from a couple of yards out. Never ones to look a gift-horse in the food-hole, Barcelona pressed and the winning goal duly came from that man Messi eight minutes from time, with passing move + weak defending = a Barça winner.
     The game started and finished on different notes. The minute's silence was impeccably observed before kickoff and saw Sergio Busquets moved to tears, while in the 75th minute one imbecilic Villarreal fan saw fit to mark the occasion in their own way, by taking everyone back in time. As Dani Alves was preparing to take a corner the TV cameras picked up an object landing near him on the pitch. A banana. Alves calmy peeled the offending fruit and ate a bit before delivering the corner, a well-measured response to this type of idiotic act. Villarreal have since identified the fan who launched the banana and have banned them for life.

Raúl García

     A couple of hours earlier and a short drive away at the Mestalla, Atlético had managed to place one finger upon the Primera División trophy with a 1-0 victory over Valencia. The goal for los Colchoneros came from Raúl García, who nipped in ahead of a marooned Guaita under a looping high ball to glance a header into the empty net. That was the sixth consecutive game in which Atleti have scored a header and was their 16th to arrive in such a fashion all season, placing them behind only Athletic Bilbao in the ranking of goals scored with the noggin.

     Third-placed Real Madrid made short work of Osasuna to keep the pressure on the top two with Cristiano Ronaldo bagging a super-powered brace before defenders Sergio Ramos and Dani Carvajal got in on the act to round out the scoring. In the unlikely event that both Real and Barcelona lose next week, Atleti will wrap up their first Primera División title since 1996 with victory at Levante on Sunday. Although the odds of that happening are extremely slight given both teams are at home, Atlético and coach Cholo Simeone know that two victories from their last three games will ensure they are crowned champions nevertheless. One thing's for sure, it'll be bloody exciting.

"Wanted: Players worthy of this badge"

     Real Betis secured their return to the Segunda División with a characteristically meek defeat at home to Real Sociedad, who kept up their chase for Europe thanks to a penalty from former-Arsenal former-Mexican Carlos Vela. Betis supremo Manuel Domínguez assured fans after the game that "the club is economically sound" and has a "workable plan" which it will be able to put in place in the lower league. Supporters remain worried and mistrusting of his leadership nonetheless, as made clear by various chants and protest banners around the Estadio Benito Villamarín on Saturday. Cross-town rivals Sevilla also had a pretty bad time of it over the weekend, getting shown up 3-1 away at Athletic Bilbao in a European six-pointer. The result surely consigns the Seville team to a season in the Europa League rather than the more shiny and desirable Champions League given Bilbao are now six points ahead with only three games remaining. Málaga are currently in no-mans-land with nothing left to play for either way and boy did it ever show in their match against Getafe. They crumbled early in a nothing match and lost to a 7th-minute Adrián Colunga goal, while Granada were battered 3-0 at home by Rayo Vallecano.
     In fact, Almería were the only Andalusian team to get any kind of positive result, a Suso (yes, the one from Liverpool) free kick securing victory against nine-man Espanyol. Elche huffed and puffed but could only come out with a 1-1 draw against Levante, a result which leaves them three points clear of 18th-placed Almería. The unwanted and unloved Monday night slot falls to Celta Vigo and Valladolid. The hosts are safe and in roughly the same kind of end of season pointlessness as Málaga and a couple of others, whilst a win for the visitors would do wonders for their hopes of avoiding the drop, as well as their feelings of self-worth, no doubt.

     Liga Adelante leaders Deportivo La Coruña were stunned by a 3-0 defeat at the Riazor to 15th-placed Ponferradina on the weekend. The visitors were set on their way by an amusing own-goal from Laure just 10 minutes in, Germán Lux saving a one-on-one before the ball ricocheted straight into the path of his captain and thence straight into the net. "Arse-biscuits!" he may well have cried, and he'd havfe been well within his rights. Second-placed Eibar were unable to take much advantage, drawing 0-0 with Recreativo Huelva at home, while Tenerife and Las Palmas both lost, to Real Jaén and Barcelona B respectively. Of the top six able to go up, only Sporting Gijón were able to muster up more than a point, beating Lugo 2-0, both goals coming thanks to lucky bounces in the area and snaffled away before keeper Dani Mallo had a chance to react. To be brutally honest though, his teammates didn't look likely to help him.

Timor celebrates a precise finish

At the very bottom, Girona gave themselves a massive boost towards their aim of escaping the relegation zone by defeating Real Zaragoza at home 2-0. David Timor opened the scoring with a beautifully-placed shot past Leo Franco from the edge of the box before Ortuño finished into the top corner following a scramble brought about by a free kick in the 85th minute, the goal sparking wild celebrations on the touchline as well as in the stands. Unfortunately for the Catalans, their big result came on the same weekend as a couple of the others around them were able to do likewise. Apart from Jaén perhaps getting the result of the day against Tenerife, Alavés came out on top of a relegation six pointer against Mallorca with all three points thanks to a 79th minute Viguera strike.
      The races for both promotion from and salvation within the Segunda División look set to go right to the wire, with seemingly anyone capable of beating anyone else, as demonstrated aptly this week by Real Jaén and Ponferradina. However on this weekend I think it safe to say that those taking part in minute silences before the games will have had the 90 following minutes put into perspective. All apart from one pillock in Villarreal, anyway.