Squad # Name d.o.b. Club side #caps #goals
1 Iker Casillas 20/05/1981 Real Madrid 154 -San Iker has collected more international caps than the rest of the world put together since making his debut as a foetus in 2000. He won his third Champions League with Real Madrid this season despite binman Diego López being preferred by manager Carlo Ancelotti's eyebrow in La Liga. Despite an unbelievable number of international records under his belt already, Casillas may have to move on if he wants first team football next season. Has been Spain captain since 2008 and led the side to two European Championship victories and that World Cup trophy last time out in South Africa. Quite simply one of the best goalkeepers of all time.
interesting* fact: Iker Casillas has more caps than three entire other teams at the World Cup.
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Although the 2013/14 season was an annus horribilis (make sure to spell that right) for Manchester United, de Gea has continued to improve in the self-styled BESTEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD EVERR. No longer the pasty, string bean-vampire from when he first came to these shores, the young 'keeper seems to finally have gotten over his phobia of crosses. No doubt he will be a very good goalkeeper for Spain one day, but not before Casillas hangs up his gloves (or whatever 'keepers do when they retire) in 20 years or so.
interesting* fact: de Gea was once fined at Man Utd for keeping a vocal score during a particularly one-sided youth team match he was watching. "FOUR goals ah, ah, ah! FIVE goals ah, ah, ah! SIX..." etc etc
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Pretty much in the squad as a mascot/official cheerleader. Usually acknowledged as the joker of the group, 'The Pepe Show' has become a fixture of any Spanish victory celebrations. This sees him get slightly bevvied up before introducing the players one by one, in his own inimitable fashion.
interesting* fact: Stanley Tucci is entirely a construct of Pepe Reina's twisted mind.
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Albiol forms part of the Spanish 'B' team that Rafa Benítez is dastardly putting together on the quiet at Napoli, possibly with a view to attacking the Spanish mainland from his Mediterranean base. The swarthy defender has shown himself able to grow a fine beard on occasion, but is not believed to be unleashing its full force upon an unsuspecting global audience in Brazil. Despite a chronic lack of pace, he helped gli Azzurri to victory in the Coppa Italia as well as a third-place finish in Serie A.
interesting* fact: Albiol also has one World Cup and two European Championship winners medals. No-one quite knows how or why.
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3 Gerard Piqué 02/02/1987 Barcelona 60 4
When not galavanting about with girlfriend Shakira, Piqué sometimes plays a bit of football for Barcelona. He acquired the improbable nickname Piquenbauer as a younger footballer but his previous aura of calmness seems to have been shattered over the past couple of seasons. Then again who wouldn't be put off by having to play with Javier Mascherano as a centre-back partner. Forms a solid partnership with Ramos on the international scene.
interesting* fact: While Shakira's hips don't lie, Piqué's knees do, hence why he wears his socks so high.
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5 Juanfran 09/01/1985 Atlético Madrid 7 -
Juanfran was one of the stand-out performers for Atlético Madrid in the best season the club's fans have ever seen, winning La Liga and only losing at the very last hurdle against cross-town enemies Real in the Champions League final. I'm going to stick my neck out and presume he'll be starting at right back for La Furia Roja, mainly because his name's easier for commentators to pronounce than Azpilicueta. Not really - that's no way to decide a starting XI. Otherwise no Ukrainians would ever get to play.
interesting* fact: If he'd been born a girl, Juanfran would have been called Franjuan.
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15 Sergio Ramos 30/03/1986 Real Madrid 116 9
Although he's gained a reputation as a dirty player, Ramos has really stepped forward for Real Madrid this season and has become a real team leader. This is best exemplified by the number of vital goals he's come up with this season - his late, late equalising goal to take the Champions League final to extra time was voted the Real Madrid goal of the season. Not as thuggish as his red cards record suggests, Ramos exemplifies a 'win-at-all-costs' mentality. He's also guaranteed to try another Panenka if any Spain games end up going to penalties.
interesting* fact: Ramos holds the record for the highest number of red cards in the history of Real Madrid, with 703.
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The small left-back's style of play is integral to the way Spain like to play - flying down the left wing at any given opportunity, Alba constantly offers the overlap to his midfield munchkins. He's often seen as the furthest-forward Spanish player, which can sometimes take cameramen and even his own teammates by surprise. Consequently he's got a great goalscoring record for his position at international level.
interesting* fact: Although not an angry man by nature, he doesn't like you. Yes, you.
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Bought from Marseille a couple of seasons back, Azpilicueta now operates as Chelsea left-back/right-back. Rumours that he's taken to shooting work experience kids with air rifles are, at time of writing, unconfirmed. Should be an interesting battle between Azpilicueta and a few others to be the regular Spain right-back over the coming years. Dani Carvajal was unlucky to miss the final squad cut in the end, and could provide good competition over the coming seasons along with Juanfran.
interesting* fact: His nickname at Chelsea is 'Dave', but only because John Terry can't spell his actual name. To be fair, John Terry can't spell full-stop, so it's not all that surprising.
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Another successful season in Germany ended with Bayern Munich winning a second consecutive Bundesliga trophy. Martínez continued to alternate games between centre-mid, centre-back and the bench. A big bruising player, he sticks out like a sore thumb among all the diminutive Spanish passing gnomes around him when he does play for la Roja. Mostly he's a back-up player. Or back-up back-up due to his versatility.
interesting* fact: His forefathers were vikings who came from the north by way of Aberdeen, then Hull, before finally settling down in the north of Spain. They were aiming for Amsterdam but overshot.
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Iniesta is the scorer of the most important goal in Spanish footballing history and still gets a positive reception from opposition fans when Barça play away games. He's deceptively good on the ball with a low centre of gravity and seems to float past defenders like the ghost he resembles. Links up well with fellow Barcelona man Xavi, but tends to play wider on the left internationally. By all accounts, a thoroughly nice bloke. Just needs to get out in the sun a bit more. Not too hard in Spain, you'd think.
interesting* fact: Iniesta is actually a Thunderbird. Once you know the strings are there you'll be able to spot them easily.
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Quite simply a midfield metronome. He's not a fast player, doesn't shoot too often and is no better a dribbler than your average player - how did this guy make it as a footballer?! Quite simply the best in the world at passing to a teammate 5m away. Xavi was pivotal to the creation of the highly-successful but often eye-meltingly boring art of tiki-taka. Usually to be found in the centre circle directing the entire game despite looking half asleep.
interesting* fact: Xavi will always be able to spot if Sergio Ramos is about to miss a penalty before anyone else does.
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The former Arsenal, current Barcelona and possibly future Chelsea player is nominally a midfielder, but is more usually spotted for Spain deployed in the 'false nine' role. If it's two things this Spain team will be remembered for (apart from being the greatest of all time) it'll be the phrases tiki-taka and false bloody nine. Though his club are currently hawking him around Europe for EUR30m, for a makeshift striker/midfielder (strikefielder?) Cesc doesn't boast too many goals.
interesting* fact: Barcelona are only trying so hard to sell Cesc back to Arsenal so that they can then buy him back in another couple of years. They intend to do this at least two more times.
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13 Juan Mata 28/04/1988 Manchester United 32 9Yet another tricksy, fun-sized Spanish midfielder. Despite the disadvantage of having a big ol' square head, Mata is actually very nippy. A good eye for a pass as well means it'll be interesting to see the battle between him, Rooney and Kagawa for the #10 role at Manchester United next season. Despite his attributes and undoubted quality, Mata's still not a starter for Spain.
interesting* fact: Mata's head is actually a giant Lego brick.
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14 Xabi Alonso 25/11/1981 Real Madrid 110 15
Like Xavi, another player integral to keeping possession of the ball in the Spanish midfield. However, Xabi Alonso boasts a far greater range of passing than the Barcelona man, albeit with not as high a completion rate. Also likes the occasional speculative strike from 3 miles away from goal, just for shits and giggles. Showed class by not doing a John Terry at the Champions League final.
interesting* fact: It's not true that Xabi Alonso has brown hair but a red beard. He dyes them both, so in actual fact he was born with red hair and a brown beard.
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16 Sergio Busquets 16/07/1988 Barcelona 65 -
I'll be straight-up honest here; I don't like Busquets as a human being out there on the pitch and genuinely think he's overrated as a player. And he looks like a rat. And he is a rat. But then again he's a mainstay in the Spanish team and has been for years so maybe I just missed a memo or something. But he's still a rat. If you Google his name, the first suggested result that pops up is 'Sergio Busquets dive'. Says it all really.
interesting* fact: Sergio Busquets' nickname is Hyacinth.
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The new kid on the block of an extremely settled Spain squad, Koke is another one that enjoyed a fantastic 2013/14 with Atlético Madrid. A good spotter of a pass, his game has continued to improve and he ended the season with a highly-impressive 14 assists. Made the final cut for the World Cup squad thanks to injuries to Jesús Navas and Thiago Alcântara.
interesting* fact: Koke used to be a bit of a fatty. Since slimming down, he has been awarded the nickname 'Diet'.
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Quite possibly the smallest man in the world, Santi Cazorla has continued to grow as a footballer if not as a human man. A world-class dribbler, it defies belief how genuinely two-footed he is - he can strike the ball or spank a long-range pass equally as well with either foot. Still not good enough for a starting berth for his country though, for all that. Also boasts good straight-line speed thanks to the aerodynamics of his large hooter - Cazorla's face is essentially just a nose with eyes on the side instead of nostrils.
interesting* fact: Born to a poor family, Cazorla used to have to sleep in a cigarette packet until the age of 13, which stunted his growth somewhat.
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Like Cazorla but plays for a more successful club. Instead of an Easter Island nose, though, David Silva has a beauty spot like that Cindy Crawford. What isn't widely known is that it's removable and the midfield maestro sometimes wears it on the other side of his face. Other times he decides to forgo it completely. Such is the life of the fashion-conscious footballer. And a ruddy good footballer he is too. After another solid season controlling Man City's attacking play he could start on the right wing for Spain, cutting in onto his left foot.
interesting* fact: At an end-of-season beano once, Silva was disciplined after sticking his removable beauty spot to the middle of his forehead and making a racially insensitive joke.
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The third of four players in the Atlético Madrid contingent, David Villa scored 13 goals in 36 Liga games this season, playing a large part in securing the historic championship. After the celebrations died down, he became the first (and so far only!) player to sign for New York City. However, seeing as they don't exist as a footballing entity until 2015, he was immediately loaned out to Melbourne City instead. Like all ageing footballers since time immemorial going across the pond for a final payday, Villa's heading there in order to 'build the sport' in America.
interesting* fact: In English, David Villa's name means David Villa.
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You'd think that 30 would be an age by which people would've stopped calling you 'The Kid', especially if you had a voice as sonorously deep as Torres', but apparently not. Refound his scoring boots for Chelsea sporadically this season, but that work experience lad keeps hiding them again. Used to be the main man up top for club and country, but has slipped down the pecking order somewhat. Frankly, I'm surprised he's been picked ahead of Álvaro Negredo. The unfortunate City striker misses out at the very last moment for the second tournament in succession.
interesting* fact: The real reason Ashley Cole shot that kid was 'cos he kept playing silly beggars with Nando's boots. Cashley was just trying to help a mate and ended up getting vilified for it. Torres didn't even stand up for him and explain.
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As a younger player he went by the name Pedrito. Unlike Torres, however, he eventually realised when the time was right to move on, and dropped the diminutive. He's absolutely lightning-quick across the ground but doesn't exude skills. Then again it must be hard to do stepovers (that's 'lollipops', to Big Ron Atkinson fans) while your legs are whirling around like a Mexican cartoon mouse.
interesting* fact: Pedro has been clocked doing the 100m in 3.82secs. He was consequently fined as he was in a 30mph zone at the time.
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Costa apparently chose to represent Spain because Big Phil Scolari didn't phone him up personally, even though the World Cup being held in the country of his birth should be incentive enough. It's not quite Yaya Touré levels of sheer idiocy, but not far off. I can foresee an uncomfortable reception for the big man, especially if the two countries end up facing off in the second round. After slathering horse placenta over his leg, Costa reckons he's now over his injury and raring to go.
interesting* fact: Costa is Spanish. A 100% bona fide Iberian bull.
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The main problem I can see with this Spain team is that they're going to look stupid wearing all red rather than their iconic dark blue shorts, thanks to Adidas screwing up following FIFA's pointless and daft explanation on kit regulations. Most positions are already taken in the Spain starting XI with only a couple in doubt. Truthfully, this is a very settled side apart from at right-back and up front. I reckon Torres may start the first game on Friday but after that Costa will make his World Cup bow, being given a little more time to recover from his hamstring injury. Meanwhile, I expect César Azpilicueta to start at right-back, no matter the difficulties it may cause some pundits;
Casillas (c)
Azpilicueta Ramos Piqué Jordi Alba
Xabi Alonso Busquets
Xavi
Silva Iniesta
Costa
*neither fact nor interesting, quite possibly made-up
Come on your R's
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