WC 2014 - Spain obliterated by rampant Dutch

     Wow. Just wow. That was pretty bloody emphatic in the end.
     Spain, widely recognised as one of - if not the very - best teams in the history of international football, came to Brazil to defend its shiniest trinket, the World Cup won so imperiously in South Africa four years ago against their opponents here. They came with much the same squad while the Netherlands undertook a complete overhaul of theirs after betraying their principles in that bad-tempered final. After this absolute demolition job questions will no doubt be raised about some of the legends in the team that played in white on Friday evening.

The guilty parties

     The core of the Spain squad has remained pretty unchanged since it bagged the first in its three-in-a-row trophy haul in 2008 - 12 of that squad are still in the group now including 7 who started in the final against Germany. There were accusations even before this mauling that perhaps the players were becoming a bit leggy as time continues to march on for them, as it must for us all. Coach Vicente del Bosque defended them, saying they were seasoned rather than veteran, but some of the performances at the Arena Fonte Nova said otherwise. Although it is far too early to discount this team, there were worrying signs all over the pitch for the world champions. The first of which was when they marched out to reveal an all-white strip. I wouldn't mind, but the Netherlands were also in their 'away' kit. So what the hell was all that about? I know it's not important, especially bearing in mind the result, but it still irks me. Anyway, back to the actual football.
     Most of the world is envious of the strength in depth of the national pool available to the Spanish team, and yet they took the plane to Brazil with seven players (six now since Cesc signed for Chelsea) from a Barcelona team that won nothing whatsoever for the first time in six years, and only three from the exhilarating Atlético Madrid team that won the league and lost in the Champions League final. Of those three, only one got a run-out on the pitch, and he was a Brazilian in Spaniards clothing who played poorly, albeit in only his third cap for his adopted country.
     Diego Costa has taken a lot of flak already for his performance, both on social media and in the Spanish papers, and while I thought he was terrible on Friday, in mitigation it must be said that he plays a totally different system with Atleti, for whom he has performed superbly since taking over

Costa makes sure he goes down

from Falcao as the focal point of the team's attacks. For me, it was perhaps too soon to chuck him in the starting line-up, given that he'd played just two games with Spain before the tournament and has only just recovered from injury. He was full of running against the Dutch and opened up spaces for another striker to run into - the problem being that there was no other striker. He plays a different game to the rest of this tiki-taka team, and in the first half the midfield elves behind him kept uncharacteristically pinging long balls up-field for him to chase, against their better judgement - and against their preferred style of play. This was not some sort of tiki-taka evolution, it was pass-pass-pass-pass-pass-LONGBALL!! And it just didn't work. Not in the slightest.
     Costa was barracked by his fellow Brazilians in the crowd all game whenever he received possession, quite rightly, and frankly looked far better without the ball than with it. When he did

Stay classy, Diego

have the ball at feet he either fell over it or spanked wild shots metres wide of the target. Really, he was more of a danger to the fans in the stands than the Dutch goal. At times he looked like someone teleported in from another sport entirely, so absent was his mastery of the round white thing that's so central to this game. However, one thing Costa does know about top-flight football is how to play the darker side to his advantage. After 25 minutes a good ball from one of his mini-minions released the striker into the box. His first touch was slightly heavy but as he turned back onto his right foot the covering Stefan de Vrij slid in and missed the ball. Penalty. It looked for all the world that the defender may have caught Costa's foot but replays suggested the man from Lagarto, rather than stepping over the challenge, made sure to plant his trailing foot where it would be taken from under him. And besides, anyone who's seen Costa play knows he doesn't need to be touched or have someone from Japan reffing the game in order to hit the turf. Although he went the right way, Jasper Cillessen couldn't keep out Xabi Alonso's penalty.
     Costa showed more of his dark side in the second half and should have been sent off for being a dick. For apparently no reason whatsoever he pushed his head into Martins Indi when the ball was out of play. The Dutch defender should also have been booked for being an absolute tart, taking two seconds to decide he'd go down clutching his face in apparent agony. Good thing I'm not a ref - both teams would end up down to 9 men regularly.

The turning point of the match

     By that time, however, the tide had turned considerably and Spain were 2-1 down. The turning point in the match came just before half time. Spain had been good value for their lead in the first half without creating too many chances, although they'd invited danger by playing a suicidally high line against the pace of Batman and Robben. Iniesta played an absolutely exquisite reverse-pass to put David Silva clean through on goal, but the Manchester City wing-sprite elected to arrogantly try and chip the 'keeper rather than passing it round him into the net. Cillessen, winning only his ninth cap, stood up well right 'til the very end and managed to flick Silva's lob wide for a corner.

The newly-invented header-lob

     Within a minute of that spurned chance the Oranje were level. A visionary long pass from the impressive Daley Blind found Robin van Persie running into miles and miles of green grass by himself with nary a defender in sight. As the ball dropped out of the stifling evening air towards him, van Persie looked up and saw Iker Casillas stuttering off his line. Arching his back while in mid-air, the now-flying Dutchman flicked the ball over the stranded 'keeper and brought his team level. That was the kind of predatory instinct you cannot possibly teach, although Spain had been asking to be opened up in this kind of fashion all game by playing such an arrogantly high line.
     Spain were as shellshocked as the Dutch were jubilant and went in at the break with much to ponder. Within 10 minutes of the restart, though, the Netherlands took the lead in a similar manner to their equaliser. Another beautiful ball from Blind fell to Robben in the area with Piqué miles from him. Now, as good as Robben undoubtedly is, he can barely even stand on his right foot and certainly doesn't use it for footballings. Piqué obviously didn't get that memo as his powerderpuff challenge allowed the follically-challenged Dutchman to turn back onto his favoured left and smash the ball past the despairing dive of Ramos to earn some redemption for his well-documented miss in the final four years ago. 2-1 to Holland and they were looking dominant. On the hour mark they could have extended their lead further, van Persie smashing a shot off the face of the crossbar with the flying Casillas at full stretch but beaten.

Ouch

     A couple of minutes later del Bosque elected to make a double change, with one sub being more surprising than the other. Off came Costa to a final chorus of boos from the Brazilians in the crowd (and some Spaniards, no doubt), being replaced by Torres, who apparently used to score goals many moons ago. If that change was obvious, the next was far more perplexing, with the Spanish manager deciding to take off Xabi Alonso and replace him with Pedro. Del Bosque could see the tide had swung in the Netherlands' favour, but rather than shoring up his midfield he uncharacteristically elected to open it accommodatingly wide. Usually he is a more patient man than shown here. To my mind, if any of the central midfielders had to be taken off, it should have either been human stain 'Hyacinth' Busquets or the dwindling Xavi. Alonso has a far greater passing range than either and could have picked out Pedro's runs all day long. He's also more defensively sound than the Barcelona man. As it was, the decision pretty much gave the Dutch the freedom to roam at will through the diminished centre of the Spanish side, which they proceeded to do with alarming regularity.
     Two minutes after the subs, the men in dark blue were 3-1 to the good. The standard of refereeing in this tournament has ranged from the derisory - Wilmer Roldán and his linesman in the Mexico-Cameroon game - to the downright scandalous/disgraceful/corrupt - Yuichi Nishimura, the world's looking at you. I will say that Italian ref Nicola Rizzoli was better than both of these jokers, but kept getting fooled by execrable rat-cheat Busquets' disgusting diving antics and could have sent off Costa a) for being a dick b) for not playing for his real country and c) for pushing his head into another player. Nonetheless, what the blue hell he gave the Dutch a freekick for on 64 minutes is beyond me. Piqué couldn't believe it either but the dead ball was duly dispatched into the box and Stefan de Vrij converted after Casillas had come out and been impeded by van Persie. The Real Madrid number two was booked for his protestations after the goal, but replays showed he probably wouldn't have reached the ball regardless. All in all a bad day at the office for Iker who afterwards admitted it had been "the worst performance of my career".

That's when you want the ground
to swallow you up

     The Spanish briefly rallied and Silva did manage to put the ball in the net three minutes later, but was correctly called offside. This was the first decision any referee had managed to get right all tournament long, including kick-off times and even putting the right shoe on the right foot. A few minutes later, however, it appeared legendary 'keeper Casillas was the one who'd put his boots on the wrong feet. An innocuous back-pass, the touch of a rapist, the ball presented to van Persie and suddenly it's a scarcely believable 4-1. Amateurish stuff from Casillas, a man with 155 caps and the world record for the most international clean sheets, but who has only played for his team in the league twice all season.
     By this point the entire collective will of the Spain team was solely concentrated on speeding up the clock and bringing the final whistle, but the rampant Dutch weren't finished, not just yet. From defence to attack in a couple of touches - in the best Real Madrid traditions - Wesley Sneijder, who'd been foiled by Casillas with the score at 0-0 in the first half, released an absolute peach of a pass to Arjen Robben. Few players in the world have much of a chance with the Chelsea reject in a straight footrace, and Sergio Ramos isn't one of them. To be fair he should've known this and slid in

Fuck off Robben, we can count

to divert the ball wide before Robben took his first touch of it, but he passed up the opportunity and was never going to catch him after that. Casillas, presumably pinching himself to check this wasn't all some weird horrible acidy nightmare, was caught in two minds whether to come out or retreat to his line and did neither. Robben proceeded to sit him on his arse - twice - presumably enjoying some pay-back for Johannesburg, before blasting in the fifth goal. 5-1 against the world champions. I did wonder what odds you'd get on that, and it turns out it was 999-1. Someone actually bet on it. And I bet they'll be kicking themselves for not putting an extra quid on it an' all. 'Tis the way of such things.
     There was still time for Casillas to make two brilliant saves which won't be remembered in the aftermath of this game; the second from Robben after a lazy, fed-up clearance from Azpilicueta, and then for Torres to miss an open goal. Poor Álvaro Negredo must be sitting at home laughing ruefully at what he saw on Friday. Missing the final cut for the second consecutive competition, he's just had a major hand helping Man City to the title in the Premier League, and yet he was overlooked for a man who's 32 and has pitched up at a non-existent American team and consequently been banished to the comparative backwaters of Australia, a man who couldn't score in a Newcastle nightclub at 3 in the morning and a Brazilian who isn't even slightly Spanish (but admittedly has had a great season). I suppose the hundreds of grands a week he's on will soften the blow, but still.

If this were Redknapp, he'd be telling
them all how 'triffic' they've been

     As the final whistle went, the cameras cut to del Bosque walking down the line of despondent players on the bench, tapping each one on the head and murmuring some words to each of them. Spain had just suffered the third worst defeat in their entire history. A few of those left to kick their heels in the dugout can legitimately wonder whether they've a chance of getting out on the pitch for the must-win game against Chile, but I feel the manager will not alter the team much. Iniesta is assured of a place, as is Xabi Alonso. Silva put in a decent shift even if he did pass up the opportunity to put Spain 2-0 up. Despite disappearing for vast tracts of the game Xavi will almost definitely start as he is the metronome that keeps them ticking on a good day. Even apart from his outlandish little-girl falling-over antics (with apologies to little girls everywhere for the comparison) Busquets was shocking, but then again I often think that and am constantly told how wrong I am on that score, so what do I know? As poor as Piqué was, often not even in the same postcode as the striker he was supposed to be marking and continually declining the opportunity to tackle, he'll probably still line up alongside Ramos - who was more headless chicken than defender - simply because the back-up options aren't very attractive. Jordi Alba had a quiet game but is another sure starter, but I feel Azpilicueta may be replaced by Juanfran. Still can't see why Dani Carvajal was overlooked though. Up front, Costa shouldn't be allowed to play for Spain in the first

'Dejected' doesn't quite cover it

place, but even apart from that he's on a different wavelength to the rest of the team - perhaps because he's from a different country - and looked like a donkey here. Possibly as big a question mark has been raised over Iker Casillas. For my money I don't think del Bosque can or will drop him. For one thing, he's the captain, and for another it'd shake the basis of the team too much, just like Rob Green being outcast after his howler against the USA four years ago. Yes, he let in five and yes he was 100% at fault for one and could have done better with some of the others, but if his head hasn't gone after this debacle he will still line up as captain on Wednesday.
     There's absolutely no doubt about it - Spain were completely deconstructed by the Dutch - the question is, can del Bosque put them back together again before the next match?

Think these guys may have
felt a bit silly after the result